Some beds are a land of sexual pleasure; some are battlegrounds. Why?
There are names for every excuse we might have but one thing is certain Sexual Expression (SE), is the veil that covers most of them.
SE is a healthy human need. Sexual desires are as normal to humans as the urge for food is.
So why is so difficult to talk about this? Why do we more often than not allow someone else to guess then try to fulfil our individual needs without knowing what they are?
The most important ingredient we seem to forget over and over again is to address HOW we communicate our needs with our partners. The second most important ingredient is to UNDERSTAND that those foundations laid on us in our developmental stages will have a huge impact on our communication skills.
Gender Identity starts at the tender age of 2 and 3 years… this is the age where children associate physical expression with feelings of love, protection and fearlessness. As infants and toddlers we begin to discover our individual sexuality and parents need to understand that by reacting negatively to the curiosity of children when they begin to play with themselves or discover their siblings at such a young age we instil in them the belief that such feelings are a bad thing. My advice to parents of young children is that when children begin to develop curiosity about their bodies’ sensations to never use harsh or judgmental tones and to not discourage this behaviour as this is an entirely normal part of developing their own sexual expression in the way they know how to, as children.
Sexual and Human development is a process that will last a life-time, whether behavioural, physical, emotional or cognitive all these will inevitably incur changes. As previously mentioned, gender identity begins as early as the age of 2. Little ones at this age can identify themselves as being a boy or a girl.
As we grow older those first lessons stay with us and our behaviour reflects, in the majority of cases, the way we perceive our sexual expression.
My questions to you on the soup of the day are:
Are you in tune with your inner child?
Do you feel safe to express your needs?
Are your physical, mental and emotional states strong enough to allow for growth?
If in doubt I urge you to download a copy of my book “Sex for the Third Age” The first of a series “Naught to Ninety Nine” where we dive into exploring some of the most profound questions that will help you grow in ways you never imagined to be possible.
This book is not just for the Third Age, it is for anyone who wants to learn how to improve their lives and the lives of those people they love.
